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hugs & why God made you who you are

Have you ever taken the “5 Love Languages” Test?  You know the one based on the Gary Chapman book that helps you determine how you naturally “give” and “receive” love?  (If you haven’t, you should.) Well, I’ve taken it and my primary love language is TOUCH.  Yes, “touch.”  I feel loved when you hug me, or kiss the top of my head, or (yes, even) give me an affectionate tap on the shoulder.  I’m pretty much like a pet in that regard. The difficult thing is that I’m single, and when you’re single, and you live far away from your […]

fields

that time I lost my hard drive

So I may have lost a lot of writing last week. I turned on my nine-year-old laptop as usual, the steady dinosaur that it was, a beloved holdover from my consulting days…and I got the black screen of death. This wouldn’t be a crisis for an organized person.  A thoughtful person who regularly backs up her work.  A person who listens to her husband who has countless spare hard drives and a degree in information technology.  But unfortunately, I am not that person.  I’m the person who saves everything randomly to the desktop. So yes.  Not my best day. I […]

on becoming

The creative process can be a little scary. Often you have an idea of what you’d like to create – a vague sense of how you’d like it to look or sound – but you can’t predict or completely control how it will end up. You show up on the piano bench with a melodic phrase in your mind. You sit down in front of the canvas feeling like painting with a particular shade. You start where you are – with a verse, phrase, melody or thought – and then something emerges. It slowly becomes. And though this becoming is, […]

looking.at.Grant

oh death, where is your sting?

A few days ago, I was looking through an old scrapbook and came across these pictures from Easter two years ago.   (yes, I still scrapbook.  laugh away…) The page is all aqua ribbons and silver lettering, with “Oh death, where is your sting?” written across the top. We look so full of Easter joy.  Abigail holding my miracle son, posing in our matching aqua sweaters, the lush green grass… But the truth is:  behind our smiles, we felt terrible. My arthritis had just begun to emerge, and I felt stiff and cold.  Abigail was holding Grant because I couldn’t bear […]

We are lavishly loved.

Two or three years ago, I started making a list of things I wanted to do in my life.  It included everything from learning calligraphy to farming flowers to being in a folk band; and somewhere in the middle of that list was the phrase “make stained glass.” Earlier that year, I had stumbled upon a stained glass stand at a farmer’s market in Wilmington and had been struck by a particular piece: a large, rectangular pane the size of a kitchen window with a swirling blue sea and a very happy-looking mermaid. I shouldn’t have been surprised that this […]

while you’re waiting

Every new season, I pick a word – or, rather, a word picks me. In the past, the word has come mid-season, as I sort through experiences and emotions that have surfaced over the months.  Last winter, it was “listen.” By summer, it had become “surrender” and then it transitioned to “transformation” in the fall. But this January, I wanted a word – needed a word – at the very start, to anchor me in this season ahead. I didn’t want to wait for the word to emerge; I needed to seize it right now, because (to be honest) I’ve felt […]